Don't Worry, I Deserve This
by AngelKitten112478
Summary: What's the whole point of going on if there's nothing to live for? If your guilt keeps haunting you, if your past keeps torturing you? What's the point if the few people you actually care about hate you, and for a good reason, too? There isn't one. (Suicidal! Tord. No Pairings. Later contains graphic scenes, don't read if you are sensitive to self harm and suicide attempts)
1. Chapter 1

~Chapter 1-Dead Inside~

Tord laid on his back on his bed, eyes closed as his mind drifted. Different images flashed inside his head. The image of him falling down in the giant robot. The hot blood. Painful injuries. Tom's hatred. Matt's fear. Edd's tears. Paul's shock. Patryk's concern. The last hateful look he saw before he joined his two soldiers.

The Norwegian finally shot up, a scream stuck in his throat and eyes burning. Shaky and heavy breaths escaped him as it took him a minute to realize he was dreaming it all.

A shock of pain flooded him as he gripped at his arm. If it was a dream, why did it feel _so_ real? Why did it feel like he was reliving his dirty past?

Tord felt his eyes burn some more as he gradually remembered how he got accepted back in the first place.

_Tord averted his gaze away as Edd stood in the doorway, staring at him with a stunned expression. "Tord?" he breathed. _

_Tord slowly met his gaze as he gripped at his crippled arm. "Hello, o-Edd." he quickly cut himself off. He didn't deserve to call Edd a friend. Not his friend. Not after all that's happened. _

_"Oh my God..I thought you were dead!" He heard Edd exclaim and in the next minute his eyes widened, letting out a small grunt as the green clad threw himself at him, nearly knocking him off balance and onto the doorstep. "I can't believe it! It's really you!"_

_Tord bit back a hiss of pain, swallowing and awkwardly standing there. "Y-Yeah..it's me." he said, not knowing what else to say. _

_Edd squeezed him tighter. "How are you alive?" _

_"It's...a long story." Tord muttered and flinched as Edd squeezed impossibly tighter. "E-Easy, Edd." he snickered quietly, awkwardly patting his shoulder with his non-injured hand. _

_"Sorry.." Edd sheepishly apologized as he pulled away and Tord could have sworn he saw him wipe away a tear. Edd sighed. "Look..it's raining and cold outside. Come in. Let's talk." He stated and grabbed Tord's hand and started to lead him in, but stopped and frowned when he felt Tord resist. He turned back to him. "Tord..?"  
_

_Tord swallowed. "Edd..I don't think that's a very good idea." _

_"Tord, I get that you're scared. But you can't expect to redeem yourself if you keep running away from your fears and troubles, right? I forgive you, but it's going to take you a long time to earn my trust and respect back, same thing with Matt and most likely possibly longer with Tom. You can't just give up because it's hard. Right?" _

_Tord sighed heavily and withdrew, nodding mutely._

_"Good. C'mon, let's go."_

Tord sighed. He forgot why he even bothered coming back in the first place. He knew he wasn't forgiven, no matter how much Edd made it look like he was. None of them cared about him. They only pretended to. They only made it look like they did just to make him feel comfortable and safe. They couldn't stand him. They hated him. Yet again, he didn't blame them at all. He understood.

He felt some tears streak his cheeks and he gritted his teeth. Then why did it hurt so damn bad? If he understood, why did every single day feel like hell? Maybe it was because of his guilt. Which he and others would agree that he _should_ feel guilty. Why shouldn't he? He tried to take over the world, killed a civilian, nearly killed Edd, Tom and Matt.

A sob involuntarily escaped him as he covered his face with one hand, choking on sobs. It hurt so bad, but he deserved it. He deserved everything that was coming to him. The pain. The guilt. Their hatred, fear, mistrust. All of it.

He didn't even know why he was trying. He would never be able to redeem himself, so why brother? He questioned himself on why he even _thought_ it would be possible, because it _wasn't_.

While he was away on his trip, he had plenty of chances to go back on what he was about to do. Plenty of oppertunites to forget it. Plenty of chances to just drop everything, decide something else and go back home to be with his friends.

Except he _didn't_. He _thought_ about it, but he didn't. And Tord _hated_ himself for that.

Again, this was what he deserved. To be disliked and hated. He deserved this. But it still hurt regardless.

Tord swallowed thickly. There were obvious tear stains on his cheeks, but he figured his friends wouldn't notice. Why would they? They hated him, and Tord with all honestly did not blame them one bit. Crud, he didn't even have the right to call them friends. He lost that right a _long_ time ago. The minute he set foot in that monstrous robot, he threw it all away, and for what? For power? Popularity? Dignity? In the end he got none of that, but at this point he didn't care. He traded in everlasting friendship for power. He snorted in spite of himself. Thinking it, it sounded even more stupid and made him more ashamed.

Who even _does_ that? Only selfish, egotistical people who are absolute megalomaniacs. Thats what he was. A selfish, stupid megalomaniac who sacrificed his friends for a little dominance, a little power. In the end it screwed him. Was it worth it? No. Not one bit. If he could go back and change it, he would in a heartbeat. He didn't know what he was thinking. He wasn't. That was the thing. All he could see was him obtaining that power and the world bowing down to him. Not the mistrust of Matt, not the hurt of Edd, not the anger of Tom. Just power. He encountered once in a lifetime true friends, and he threw them away like the dolt he was.

Tord would never admit it to their faces, but he had come to actually care about Edd and the others. Which was _rare_, especially for _him_. He had actually learned to..._love_ them like..._family_ basically. Something he never thought would be possible. He guessed it was because he enjoyed being around them, and they were people who actually _cared_.

But he didn't deserve them. Even before this, he knew he didn't. People like _him_ don't deserve friends like _them_. In fact, he didn't deserve friends _at_ _all_. It just...doesn't work with him. He just doesn't deserve them, especially now. He couldn't understand why they liked him in the first place. Why Edd would affectionately throw his arms around him in a hug, why Matt enjoyed hanging with him so damn much, why even Tom liked to joke around with him here and there despite his and Tom's differences. _Why_? What was so special about him? He didn't get it. He supposed in a way, he never will, especially after what happened.

Friendship just doesn't mix with Tord. Never did. He doesn't know how to deal with it. The closeness, the affection. Especially from Edd. Still, it had been nice. He liked the small bud of warmth that grew in his heart for the first time in years when Edd hugged him, even if it was just for a moment. It had been fun. He had enjoyed this, he had missed this. Alas it wasn't enough. The way Edd forgave so easily wasn't enough. He knew that deep down despite forgiving him, Edd still couldn't stand him. Neither could Matt, and obviously not Tom.

Tord sniffled slightly. His hand suddenly itched for something besides a gun. Something sharp. He opened his door and trudged down the stairs. Tord peeked around the corner of the wall. Edd, Tom and Matt were sitting on the couch, watching TV. This was fine. They wouldn't notice.

The brunette walked into the kitchen silently and rummaged through one of the drawers as quietly as he could. He finally found what he was looking for and stashed it in one of the pockets of his hoodie.

Tord then walked out of the kitchen and tried to walk back upstairs, but a voice stopped him.

"What're _you_ doing down here?" Tom questioned him with narrowed eyes; Tord flinched violently. The red clad gradually turned around and Tom froze, raising a brow with a small frown. "Um..have you been crying, commie?" He questioned, causing Edd and Matt to turn around as well this time with frowns.

"What? N-No, 'course not." Tord quickly lied. "I-I just.." he trailed off and sighed, unable to come up with a good excuse. "It's nothing, alright? Nothing you should be concerned about anyways. I'm fine." He stated, averting his gaze.

"You don't look fine," Matt piped. "You look awful."

"Wow..thanks, Matt."

"Tord.." Edd swallowed. "Are you sure you're fine?"

Tord rolled his eyes slightly. "'M positive, Edd." _No I'm not, but I can't tell you that._

Edd glared at him. "Promise!"

Tord sighed, not wanting to deal with this right now. "Edd, seriously..-"

"I _said_ promise!" Edd demanded, startling him.

"Okay, okay" Tord uttered, holding up his hand as if he were saying an oath. "I promise I'm fine. Damn. Can you let me go now?"

Edd nodded and Tord stuck his hands in his pockets, walking back upstairs.

The trio returned their attention forward.

"He was _definitely_ lying." Matt stated.

"_Pfft_. _Totally_." Tom snorted.

"_Absolutely_ lying." Edd nodded. "We're seeing what's up after the next episode ends."

* * *

Umm...yeah, there you go. R&R! Thx! :P


	2. Chapter 2

~Chapter 2-Traitor~

In Tord's room, he shut and locked the door behind him once he was inside. He turned his light on and went to go sit on his bed. The Norwegian pulled out what he had stashed earlier in his pocket from the kitchen; a sharp knife.

Tord stared at the knife for a few moments. The events from the incident continued to replay in his mind over and over for him. _You're_ _pathetic_... His mind told him. _A_ _dirty_, _pathetic_ _traitor_ _is_ _what_ _you_ _are_.._just_ _do_ _it_ _already_. _They'd_ _be_ _better_ _off_ _without_ _you_ _anyways_.

The red clad exhaled and put the blade to his wrist before proceeding to cut. He jabbed the knife in deep, biting back a curse and a hiss of pain. A red river already started flowing down his right arm. He felt kind of nauseous just looking at it.

He looked at his left and figured that it was already screwed up due to the explosion, but he didn't care. He took off the gauze that Edd had applied when he first came here. He jabbed the knife in, successfully re-opening the wound. Tears started to prick his eyes, it hurt so bad this time. He blinked them back and gazed at his bloody arms. He felt slightly lightheaded.

A knock at his room door caused him to jump, startled, followed by the jingling of his door knob.

"Tord? Is everything okay? Why's your door locked?" It was Edd from the other side, sounding a little beyond worried.

"U-Umm..one minute, Edd!" Tord hurriedly exclaimed. He looked down at his arms and rolled his sleeves down over, successfully hiding the fresh wounds. He quickly tried to look for a hiding spot for the knife since he knew he didn't have the time to clean it off. Under the bed was too obvious. Under his pillow wasn't any better, but it was the best he could think of as of right now. Besides, he could find a new hiding spot later.

After quickly hiding the knife, he went over to the door, unlocking and opening it to meet the face of a worried Edd, along with Matt and Tom beside him.

"H-Hello, Edd. Do you..need something?" Tord asked, putting on a fake smile.

"You seemed a little down in there," Edd pointed out. "You okay?"

Tord flashed him one of his grins. "Of course I am! Don't worry, Edd!"

"But-" Edd started, but was cut off by Tom placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Look, if the commie says he's fine, he's fine." Tom stated, sending Tord a glare.

Tord swallowed thickly and averted his gaze away.

"O-Okay. W-Well, do you wanna come watch Insane Pirate Zombies from Hell five with us?" Edd offered with a small smile.

"Pssh. Don't bother inviting him. The commie probably has better stuff to do anyways." Tom snorted.

"Tom!" Edd hissed at him with a glare. "Knock it off! Quit being so rude!"

"What? I'm just saying-"

"Well don't say! You don't talk like that after I invite-"

"No, no," Tord cut them off with a nervous chuckle, ignoring the hurt burning in his heart. "He's...he's right. Actually Edd, I've got some work to catch up on. I think I have to pass this time. I'm gonna go to bed afterwards, so I'll see you tomorrow."

"Are you sure?" Edd mumbled, taking a step closer to him.

"Sure I am."

Edd sighed. "Alright..see you tomorrow."

Tord gave him another smile. Matt and Tom were beginning to walk off, and Edd turned to follow them. Tord's door was nearly shut when he walked back over. Tord frowned, opening back up slightly.

"Need something else, Edd?" He questioned.

Edd merely mutely stepped forward and hugged the red clad tightly. Tord's eyes widened, startled. After a few moments of hesitance, Tord reached over and wrapped one arm around him awkwardly, the other hand stuffed in his pocket. A few more moments passed before Edd pulled away. He finally gave Tord a small smile that the red clad returned before walking off.

Tord let out a heavy sigh and shut his door, locking it once more.


	3. Chapter 3

~Chapter 3-Pain~

The next morning, Tom and Matt woke up to the smell of waffles. The duo walked into the kitchen and saw Edd making a few huge waffles, some sausage and bacon.

"Hi, Edd." Matt greeted with a smile.

"Oh. Hi guys." Edd turned and grinned at them. "You guys are up early."

"The smell woke us up." Tom stated. "What's with all this food?"

Edd shrugged with a small smile. "I figured it's time for us to do something different besides just cereal for once. Besides, you both love waffles, don't you?"

Tom and Matt nodded with grins. "Great! Go sit down and I'll serve you some."

Matt and Tom went over to the table and sat down. Matt abruptly frowned when he saw the chair beside him that Tord usually filled empty. "Hey Edd," Matt said as he turned around. "Where's Todd?"

"_Tord_, Matt. And...I don't know." Edd looked up at the clock. "It's 9:00. Tord's usually up before any of us at like 5 or maybe earlier."

"Are you suggesting the commie slept in?" Tom muttered with a raised brow.

"If he did, that's weird. It's not like him at all. Tord never sleeps in." Edd replied, and Tom and Matt could already see the growing concern on their friend's face.

"I hope he's okay." Matt frowned.

"I hope he is too. He's been acting weird every since yesterday. First shutting himself off from the rest of us and now sleeping in for like four hours?" he turned to Tom. "Tom, you gotta _at_ _least_ admit it was weird how Tord refused to watch Insane Pirate Zombies from Hell with us."

"Of course it's weird." Tom snorted, folding his arms. "The commie's a complete _fanatic_ of that series."

"_Exactly_! That's what I'm saying." Edd said, exasperated. He looked back up at the clock that already read 9:07. "..I'm worried. Tord's never acted like this before." he murmured.

"He probably just overworked himself and passed out, Edd." Tom uttered. "There's always _somewhat_ of a logical explanation to the commie's weirdness."

"Yeah, I guess so..." Edd mumbled as he set the plates in front of Matt and Tom, set out his own before sitting down at the right of Matt and across from Tom.

An awkward silence hung between the trio. Matt and Tom gradually ate whilst Edd merely gazed down at his plate, poking at his food with his fork and not eating any of it. This usually happened whenever Edd had so much on his mind he couldn't eat. In this case Edd couldn't stop worrying over Tord.

This went on for a few more minutes before Tom finally gave an annoyed sigh, grabbing both his and Matt's attention. "Edd, if you're so worried about the damn commie, why don't you go check on him?"

"I already did." Edd muttered. "I don't wanna seem nosy or intrusive or anything." he gave Tom a pleading look. "Can you do it for me, Tom? Please?"

Tom groaned. "Ugh. Why _me_?"

"It's not like you have to start a big conversation with him or anything. Just go check on him, see if he's okay and tell him that breakfast is ready. Please Tom, I'm starting to get really worried."

Tom growled, getting up. "Fine." he let out a sigh and walked away from them.

The blue clad man made his way to Tord's room. He reached out and jingled the doorknob, but of course the door was locked. Tom frowned. Since when did the Commie start locking his door? He usually always kept it either open or closed, but never locked including when he went to bed at night.

Either way, this was no problem for Tom. He rummaged in his pocket and pulled out a lock pick. He was grateful that he always kept one or two on hand despite figuring he'd never need it.

Tom jiggled the pick around in the lock for a bit until he abruptly heard a small _click_ after a few moments, indicating that the door was now unlocked. He put the pick away and gradually pushed open the door.

The lights were off as expected. The room was a mess, but that was expected as well. Tord's room was _always_ a mess. Tom could see through the darkness a lump under the blanket, and spiky brown hair horns sticking out from the top. Definitely Tord.

Tom approached Tord and pulled the blanket off slightly. Tord's expression was a slightly peaceful one, chest rising and falling steadily and slowly as heavy audible breaths escaped him, indicating that he was in fact still alsleep, and proving Tom's theory correct that the commie probably just overworked himself again. Tom frowned, noticing that Tord's hoodie was still on, which was kind of weird. Tord _always_, like the others, took his hoodie off and slung it over one of the chairs in his room before going to sleep.

The brunette shook off the confusion and returned to the task at hand. He thought about just letting him sleep, but quickly remembered that Edd had ordered him to tell Tord to come down for breakfast.

Tom reached out and shook Tord hard, feeling the Norwegian flinch and wake up.

"Out..." Tord mumbled and buried his face in his pillow, not caring who it was.

"Get up, commie. Stop being such a pussy and laying in bed all day." Came Tom's voice.

"Go screw yourself, Tom. Get out of my room..." Tord muttered, not in the mood.

Tom abruptly smirked. He reached out and yanked the whole blanket off of Tord, ignoring Tord's yelp and how he shot up, protesting and cussing him out. Tom then switched on the lights, causing Tord to let out a small hiss as he was blinded momentarily, arms flying to cover his eyes.

"Fuck you..." Tord mumbled once he recovered.

Tom resisted the urge to say something snarky in return. "You're starting to worry Edd. Get downstairs and come and eat breakfast." he uttered with narrowed eyes.

Tord snorted, rolling his eyes. "I'll be down in a minute. Just get out."

Tom sent a glare his way. "You better not be planning anything. Because if you hurt them again, I'll make you suffer so bad you'll wish you never came back." he growled before throwing the blanket on the ground and exiting his room.

Tord rolled his eyes slightly as he rolled his sleeves up, gazing at his once cuts that were now scars. "..Don't worry," he mumbled. "Soon nobody will have to think or worry about me hurting anyone anymore." he let out a heavy sigh and got out of bed, leaving his room and shutting the door behind him.

Edd was still poking at his food when Tom came downstairs. Edd smiled hopefully at him. "Is he okay?"

Tom shrugged. "He was acting a little weird, but I'm pretty sure he's fine."

Edd's smile fell. "Weird? Like how?"

"Well..-" Tom abruptly cut himself off when he heard slow footsteps behind him and turned to see Tord approaching them, his hood pulled up and hands stuffed in his pockets, gazing at the ground.

Edd, Matt and even Tom shared uneasy glances.

"T-Tord!" Edd said cheerfully, putting on a smile as he walked toward and stopped in front of Tord. "Hey! I made lots of waffles and everything! Come on and sit down. They're not gonna finish themselves."

Tord sighe heavily, refusing to meet any of their eyes. "T-That's alright, Edd. I'm not hungry." he lied, ignoring his quietly growling stomach.

Edd's grin fell and he shared another uneasy glance with the other two before looking back at Tord. "A-Are you sure, Tord? I made your favorites.."

"That's okay. Sorry, 'M just not hungry right now. Maybe later." He said again, voice chillingly colorless. Before waiting for another response, he went over and sat on the couch before turning on the TV and staring at the screen.

Edd leaned toward his two friends in a whisper. "Okay, I'm _really_ worried now." he stated with an anxious grin.

Tom couldn't help but send a concerned frown Tord's way. Shit, even _he_ was worried about the commie now.

"Why is he acting so weird?" Matt sighed.

"I really wish I knew." Edd riposted as they went into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and swallowed thickly with a frown once he realized that all the cola was gone and they were low on food.

Edd shut the fridge and turned to his friends. "Look, I gotta head to the store and buy a few things. Tom, you're coming with me." Edd then looked at Matt. "Matt, look after Tord while we're gone, okay? Don't let him do anything stupid."

"Okay." Matt said with an uneasy frown. "Don't take too long."

Edd nodded. He understood that Matt felt uncomfortable around Tord in his state. He did too. "Don't worry. We'll be back before you know it. Come on, Tom."

Edd and Tom left the house through the front door, shutting it behind them.

Matt swallowed thickly and looked toward Tord. He sighed before walking over and sitting beside the Norwegian. "Hi Tord," he greeted. "Mind if I watch TV with you?"

Tord shrugged nonchalantly. "Sure." he mumbled, handing Matt the remote as he didn't care what channel. He nearly smiled as Matt's face lit up, looking childishly happy.

A few minutes later, Matt had finally found a channel he enjoyed and was laughing at was on the screen. Tord merely gazed down at his shoes, lost in his thoughts. He abruptly grabbed Matt's shoulder, grabbing his attention. "I'm gonna be right back." he stated, standing up.

"Oh..uh...okay." Matt riposted. "Are you okay, Todd?"

"_Tord_. And yeah, 'm fine. Don't worry. I'll be back in a few."

"..Alright."

Tord walked away from the ginger and down the hall towards his room. He opened his door and walked inside, foolishly forgetting to shut and lock it behind him. The Norwegian sat on his bed and pulled out his knife that now had dried blood on it. Tord swallowed and pulled up his sleeves, gazing at the old scars before finding new areas and placing the knife against those, beginning to cut.

_Worthless. Pathetic. Useless. Just die already. Nobody wants a traitor like you in their lives. _

Tord's dark thoughts became louder and louder as he continued to slash and cut. They became so loud, he didn't hear the voice calling out his name. He didn't hear that same voice inching closer and closer to his room until it was too late.

"Hey Tord, have you seen my mir-"

Tord jumped and froze. He gradually turned to see Matt in his doorway, expression aghast. He saw Matt gaze at his old scars, to his new scars, to the fresh blood dripping off his knife, to him. "Ror..." Matt finished quietly as horror and terror filled him.

"T-Tord?" Matt choked out, sounding and looking terrified at the scene before him.

_Shit. _


	4. Chapter 4

~Chapter 4-Don't Cut~

Tord and Matt stared at each other, minutes passing by. It was as if time itself stopped. It seemed like forever until Tord spoke up.

"Matt.." he uttered, sounding a little too calm. "This isn't what it looks like.."

"This isn't what it looks like?!" Matt exclaimed in horror, gazing at Tord's scars and cuts. He felt like he was gonna throw up. "Tord, you're bleeding! Th-There's so much blood...oh my God..." he walked closer to the _Norwegian._

"H-How long have you been doing this?" he questioned apprehensively.

Tord didn't answer, averting his gaze away from the ginger.

Matt shook slightly. "I-I have to go call Edd!" he choked and turned to sprint out of the room, but was roughly pulled back by the arm by Tord.

"_No_! Matt, you _can't_ tell Edd! Or Tom! Or _anyone_!" Tord exclaimed sternly.

"I have to tell _someone_!" Matt insisted, yanking his arm away. "Tord, you're bleeding out! If Edd doesn't tend to your wounds soon, you'll die!"

"I don't care!" Tord growled. "You just can't okay?!"

"What, do you want me to keep it a secret?" Matt questioned him and without waiting for an answer, continued. "Tord, if I kept a secret like that it would break Edd! Actually no, scratch that! It'll _break_ him if he found out you were keeping something this serious from him, and you know that!"

Tord groaned, looking away. He was beginning to feel lightheaded quickly.

"Todd," Matt whimpered, reaching out and touching his shoulder. "Please..."

"_Tord_," Tord corrected in a mumble, shrugging his hand off roughly causing Matt to flinch.

Not knowning what else to do, Matt began to turn on his heel to leave the room, but quickly remembered that he shouldn't leave Tord alone in his state.

Matt reached out and grabbed him, pulling him off the bed. Tord mutely allowed himself to be pulled into the kitchen as Matt pulled out the First Aid before going into the living room, gently pushing Tord onto the couch. Matt got out some gauze. This was Edd's specialty, not his but he had to try.

Matt pulled out his phone with his other hand and desparately dialed Edd's number, leaning his head down on his shoulder to keep his phone there whilst uneasily wrapping some gauze around one of Tord's arms.

In the store, Edd was steering the cart, Tom walking beside him. The green clad abruptly stopped with a frown. "I hope Matt's holding up with Tord okay."

"Both of them are fine," Tom assured gruffly. "You worry too much."

"I guess you're right." Edd sighed. His phone started ringing abruptly.

"Huh?" Edd mumbled in confusion and took it out of his pocket, gazing at the screen.

"It's Matt." he informed Tom.

"See? He's probably calling to tell you that the commie's feeling better." Tom stated with a smug grin, folding his arms across his chest.

"Y-Yeah. Maybe." Edd replied, managing a small smile.

He picked up. "Hey Matt! How're things going with To-"

Tom's grin fell when he saw the look of horror cross Edd's face. Edd gave him an uneasy glance and held onto his phone tightly, both hands shaking.

"O-Okay. Calm down, Matt. We'll be right there. Just don't let him out of your sight, okay? Okay. B-Bye."

When Edd hung up, he looked terribly pale.

Tom gave him a concerned look. "I'm guessing that wasn't a 'good news' call?"

Edd shook his head. He grabbed the cart with one hand and Tom's hand with the other, walking toward the cashier quickly.

"No, it _wasn't_. C'mon, we need to go home. _Now_."

* * *

Matt smiled at a laughing Tord. After Matt hung up with Edd, he had managed to drag Tord out of his quiet stage by turning on Insane Pirate Zombies from Hell five, the movie Tord didn't get to watch last night because of..._reasons_.

"Oh my God...hahaha..she was so stupid!" Tord laughed.

"She should have just run the other way." Matt agreed, causing Tord to snicker some more.

Matt abruptly frowned, reaching over to the remote and pausing the movie. "Todd?"

"_Tord_, Matt." Tord sighed with a frown of his own, already knowing what he was going to ask him.

"Why? Why did you do that?" Matt whimpered.

Tord swallowed thickly. "Why not?"

"_What_?" Matt choked. "A-Are you saying that you did it because you wanted to? Because you _could_!?"

"May-" Tord started to reply, but was cut off by the sound of the door opening. The duo turned to see Edd in the doorway, Tom beside him, grocceries in hand.

Tord flinched at Edd's gaze. He couldn't tell if he was angry or upset. Maybe both? Again, he could barely tell. The green clad's expression was basically unreadable.

Edd and Tom entered the living room where Tord and Matt were sitting.

Edd instantly went over to Tord and sat next to him. Tord expected yelling, but Edd merely mutely reached out for one of his arms.

Tord hesitantly held his right out. Edd held it and rolled up the sleeve of the red clad's hoodie. The arm was wrapped up thanks to Matt, but the cuts and re-opened wounds were so deep, they were already bleeding freely through the bandages quickly.

Edd let out a small gasp. Matt looked like he felt nauseated looking at them. Tom, who was standing by Matt, looked bewildered beyond comprehension. How long had the stupid commie been doing this? When did he start? How had any of them missed it?

Edd's slightly shaky voice broke him out of his thoughts. "T-Tom, can you go grab me some extra gauze from the other kit in the bathroom? This was the last of the gauze in the other kit, and I really have to change these bandages."

"Sure." Tom replied with an uneasy look before exiting the room to get the gauze.

Edd glanced at Matt. "Matt, go look for your mirror. I don't want you to see this." he ordered flatly, knowing Matt's sensitivity to these kinds of things.

"But..will he be okay?" Matt whimpered.

Tord flinched. He actually _cared_? _Why? _He _shouldn't. _

"He'll be fine, Matt. No worries." Edd said and gave him a fake reassuring smile.

"Okay." Matt mumbled and left the room just as Tom came back in with the fresh gauze.

"Thanks Tom." Edd said, taking the fresh gauze from him. "Hey, can you do me a favor and go help Matt find his mirror, and then stay with him for a while afterwards?"

"What?" Tom blinked. "But Edd-"

"Tom," Edd cut him off. He gave Tom a pleading look that Tord missed due to avoiding looking at any of them. "Please.."

Tom sighed, giving in. "Fine." he grumbled. "We'll be somewhere in the house if you need us." he walked off.

Edd looked back down and started at the end, gradually beginning to pull the old bandage off. Warm blood instantly began streaking and trailing down Tord's arm. Blinking back warm tears, Edd got up and went into the kitchen and grabbed a cloth, wetting it in the sink with shaking hands.

He came back out and sat back down next to Tord. Edd gripped Tord's arm again, wiping the blood off and pressing it to his wounds, holding it there. Tord let out a small hiss, flinching. Edd sent him a small apologetic glance. Tord swallowed and looked down.

He frowned, noticing how Edd's hands were shaking uncontrollably, and soon also noticed that Edd himself was shaking, biting down on his lip with tear-filled eyes.

"You _said _you were fine," Edd finally bit out and met eyes with Tord. His expression was actually readable this time despite the tears; it was anger. "Y-You said you _were_, Tord. You _promised. _You promised that you were _fine, _that we had nothing to worry about. And we-_I _believed you. But I go out to the store with Tom for _fifteen _minutes, and I get a call from Matt that you were _cutting yourself. _How is _that fine_!?"

Tord looked away as Edd shakily pulled out some gauze and began applying it to his arm.

"It _isn't _fine," Tord mumbled.

"_Exactly!_" Edd choked, ripping the roll of gauze away from the gauze applied to Tord's arm. He put the gauze down and rested his hands on Tord's shoulders.

"Tord, how long have you been doing this?" he questioned desparately.

Tord looked away mutely.

"Tord, please, I have to know...don't shut me out..._please _Tord..." Edd begged.

Tord sighed. "Only since last night. Not that long at all."

Part of Edd looked relieved while the other half still looked unconvinced and apprehensive.

Edd sniffled and wiped away his tears before finishing wrapping up Tord's right arm and going to his left.

"Tord, you have to stop doing this. It's dangerous." Edd swallowed.

Tord quietly sat there as Edd finished mending his cuts.

Edd turned to him. "You won't do this anymore, right? No more stupid stuff?"

Tord managed a small grin, gesturing with his hand to his face. "If by stupid stuff, you mean me burning the other half of my face and burning my other arm, I'm good." he quipped.

Edd let out a watery laugh, wrapping his arms around the Norwegian tightly and nuzzling his face in his neck. "You are the worst." he sniffled.


End file.
